Molding Our Activities into Tools to Bless our Families
In 1 Nephi 17 we find two keys to effective use of our time. First, Nephi knew that the commandments of God must be fulfilled (1Nephi 17:3). Nephi and his extended family rejoiced when they came to the place by the seashore they called Bountiful. Surrounded by beautiful things prepared of the Lord, they might have relaxed. Yet when the Lord called, Nephi “arose and went” (1 Nephi 17:7).
To manage our time well, we must first assure our priorities are consistent with the Lord’s revealed will in the scriptures, conference talks, and documents such as the proclamation on the family. If we are focused on the wrong things, or missing essential priorities in life, more efficient time management cannot help us find lasting happiness. To use an analogy, if a ladder is against the wrong wall, it doesn’t matter much how well one climbs the ladder; he will never get to the right place.
When Nephi received the call to construct a ship he asked, “Lord, whither shall I go that I may find ore to molten, that I may make tools to construct the ship after the manner which thou has shown unto me?” (1 Nephi 17:9). His question teaches us a second principle of time management: we must seek the Lord’s guidance in identifying activities in our lives (ore) we can change (molten) we can work after the manner the Lord has shown us. By way of example, in my life finding ore has meant being alert for opportunities to appropriately involve my family members in fulfilling my callings so that we have time together and share the joy of serving. When I have been away from my family it has meant seeking opportunities to share spiritual experiences when I return. It has meant being actively involved in my sons Scouting activities to help assure they have character-building activities, learn to set goals, and share the joy of meeting challenges together.
The concepts of joint service and return and share have helped me mold demands on my time into experiences that blessed my family. Through these concepts, demands that might appear to pull me away from my family have been molded into opportunities bless my family as I served others.
Joint Service. When I was a teenager, my father’s service on the high council required two-hour drives to visit distant branches. What could have been a long day away from the family to fill church assignments was turned into one-on-one time with my father and the opportunity to serve with him. My dad would ask me to come and play a special musical number before he spoke in sacrament meeting. Then on the way to the meetings we had time to interact. I remember learning how to shift the gears in his car. I remember talking about his boyhood experiences. I remember helping him memorize passages of scripture he would use in his talks. The passage beginning “What power shall stay the heavens? As well might a man stretch forth his puny arm to stop the Missouri river .…” (D&C 121:33 – 46) is especially deeply embedded in my heart from the day dad memorized it with my help as we drove to participate in a sacrament meeting. Opportunities for church service can be molded into experiences that harmonize with needs to spend time and teach our family members.
Return and Share. Sometimes service requires us to be away from our family. But when we ask and serve with faith, our experiences can become the ore from which we mold teaching opportunities that will touch the hearts of our family members. I recall my father bearing testimony of how he was helped during graduate school in Minnesota while serving in a branch presidency. He was often called to spend his evenings in church service. When he returned home, he would ask the Lord for help with his studies. I recall his testimony that it often seemed as if the Lord took his pencil and helped him write the answers to his homework assignments. Because of his testimony, I had similar experiences while completing my graduate studies.
I have tried to follow the same pattern of appropriately sharing what I can after serving the Lord. While serving as branch president one day a father approached me and said “I told my son that if he would come to see you he would know if he could serve a mission.” I recall thinking that I wasn’t Ammon or Alma, but with faith invited the young man into my office. I felt he was ready to serve a mission. As we talked I learned that while he wanted to serve a mission, he doubted he was ready. I felt a clear impression to open to D&C 4. As we read the Lord’s requirement for a call to serve in verse 3, the spirit touched both of us. The young man looked up with excitement and said, “Then I am called and yes I want to serve!” We were delighted to talk with the father who was waiting in the foyer. And I was equally grateful that soon after I could share another testimony with my family of how beautiful it is to serve the Lord. As a child I knew that church service required time. But the experiences and testimonies of my parents and the comments of those whose lives thy touched were powerful witnesses that instilled in me the desire to give my life to serving the Lord.
We are most likely to find the ore we need to mold into tools to fulfill our callings when we serve after the manner the Lord shows our prophets and confirms in our minds and hearts. One day after discussing an experience with my wife, she paused and asked if I remembered a particular experience with one of our children. I did not know the full details. After reviewing a few more of her experiences with the children, she looked at me and said, “I don’t want to hurt your feelings. But I would never trade the experiences I have had here in our home for those you have had in your employment and church service.” That afternoon we realized it does not pay to waste our energy wishing we could be someone else or consuming time looking for other options once we learn the Lord’s will. While my wife has a college degree, she chose to become a full-time homemaker when our first child was born. We received a witness that as we keep the commandments of the God, he will nourish, strengthen, and provide the means whereby we can accomplish our God-given calls (see 1 Nephi 17:3), whether in the home, church, workplace or community. As we have served and shared our experiences, our respective calls and gifts have complemented one another.
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3 comments:
I really enjoyed the thoughts. I will have more to share as I think about it a little. My overall first thought is in the collection of the ore. While collecting ore could certainly be accomplished alone, how much faster can it be done working with others? My next thought is that it would be easier (and quicker) to dig deeper with others working by your side. I don't know if ore collected from deeper in a mountain is any purer than what is taken near the surface, but I would imagine only so much can be taken from shallow areas before there is a necessity to dig deeper to collect more.
As you spoke about riding in the car with your Dad (Grandpa) it brought back my memories of early morning car rides with you to the Lake Mills Chapel. I too have childhood memories of shifting gears for and memorizing scriptures. I also remember organizing the hymnals on the chairs and taping hymnal damaged bindings. Perhaps these are the experience that prepared me to be the Ward setup/clean up coordinator (my current calling) – joking!. ☺ In all seriousness though, these are the experiences that first taught me of service and sacrifice.
I also appreciate the idea of sharing our experiences with our families to help strengthen them. If, like Amulick(?) in the Book of Mormon, our goal is to be instruments in the hands of the Lord, we also want our children to become instruments in the hands of the Lord. Therefore, as parents, we play a large roll in molding the lives of our children (precious ore) to help them become instruments.
I often contemplate and ask myself if I’m a good role model for Will or ask myself, “What am I doing to teach him the gospel?” I appreciate the wisdom you’ve shared of including our children in our church service activities and also sharing our experiences with them.
Dave's comments remind me of Enos when he tells us his father spoke of the "joy of the saints". I doubt a child that grows up hearing nothing but complaining about service will grow up thinking service is a blessing.
I can't say I always thought service was a blessing, but I knew how important it was by the way I saw my parents and grandparents serving with pleasure. That did make it easier for me to find joy in serving. It's a good reminder for me to talk with the girls about the things I do when I'm away. They like to hear about it, and often ask how my day was or how a meeting went. A perfect opportunity to share is there.
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